I will warn him that he might be judged at family gatherings, because even though some people are open-minded about interracial relationships, his future partner might have racist relatives who won't be, and my son may very well have to endure a bigoted uncle's comments every Christmas dinner.
I will warn him that if he and his white girlfriend happen to get into a fight in view of the neighbors, there's a chance that the cops may be called, and in the eyes of the police, being an unarmed black man is reason enough to shoot someone.
As a warning, she'd tell us the graphic details of Emmett Till's senseless death, and how he had died because a white woman had made a false allegation against a black boy.
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While I am not opposed to him dating anyone who makes him happy, regardless of race, I will warn him that because he is a black man in America, there are real risks associated with him dating white women.
I will warn him that if he and his white girlfriend happen to get into a fight in view of the neighbors, there's a chance that the cops may be called, because in the eyes of the police, being an unarmed black man is reason enough to shoot someone.
I will warn him that when it comes time to have children, they might be teased for being biracial.
Most of all, I will warn him that there is a great deal of responsibility that comes with being with a black man in this country, and most of the time, love might not be enough to keep a couple together.62 years ago, a 14-year-old black boy walked into a store on a dare.
It is those latter reasons, the ones based on fear vs. When I look at my dating choices in context, my exclusive focus on men of color seems limiting and provisional, and more important, at odds with my truth vs. I learned to two-step at a bonfire at someone’s deer lease back in Texas.
The Dead’s “Shakedown Street” is one of my favorite songs.
I will warn my son that if he falls in love with a white woman, he should make sure that she doesn’t refer to herself as colorblind, because to be colorblind or to say that you don’t "see race" is the same thing as saying that you are too uncomfortable with race to confront the baggage that comes along with it.
I will warn him about being the token black person among her white friends, which means that he might suddenly have to be an ambassador for all black people who have ever existed.62 years ago, a 14-year-old black boy walked into a store on a dare.
I lived that feeling as the token black girl in my West Texas hometown’s elite circles. I am a woman who grew up with a “Love is Colorblind” figurine in her room, for goodness sake!
The fear of feeling that way within a relationship also blinded me to possibility. When it comes to life experiences and interests, I likely have more in common with white men than black.
And, then there are the unspoken questions once inherent in any semi-intimate interaction with a white guy: Do you want to date me as a way to stick it to grandma?