As I stepped off of the elevator, I saw him straight ahead sitting on a glass-topped table in the hallway. There was extra “stuff” to work through – a whole other person from the past worth of stuff.
A good follow-up question to ask is, “If this person is still married, what is his purpose in dating me?
” At this point it can’t be to get married because legally he can’t get remarried.
A healthy purpose for a dating relationship is to discern possible marriage.
Otherwise the dating relationship is nothing more than selfishness of either one or both people.
Today as I listen to single women tell their stories about dating divorced men, I remember my experience well.
I see them making choices about dating divorced men similar to ones I made.
If it’s our desire to treat marriage as a covenant between two people that represents Jesus’ covenant with the Church, then we must respect marriage.
That means that until a legal divorce has taken place, the person is still married, even if their separation from their spouse goes on for months or years.
There are different opinions about how long it takes. In the story I told above, my boyfriend had been divorced for about three years and yet he was still hurting.
Dating too soon after a divorce is sometimes a sign that the man is trying to fill the void left from his marriage.
Choices based on the present but without enough regard on the past.