Now I'm 64, they only have to know how to read and use the telephone! They’re amazing; I’ll burn you a CD." "Normally on the first few dates I borrow mannerisms from the more interesting people I know and very often steal phrases and anecdotes from them along with concepts and ideas from obscure yet wittily-written books.
Some willingness to assist with basic bodily functions required." "Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums." "I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often.
Must wear size five shoes." "When I was thirty my dates had to be young, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent.
Music: The Damned, Killing Joke, Bach organ fugues.
This will date me, but I remember when alternative newspapers didn't have decency standards.
Spelling and grammar errors make you look lazy and stupid.
A polished, professional-sounding ad makes you look thirty IQ points smarter.
(She was a waitress, so maybe a rude customer didn't leave her a tip. ) I've read hundreds of personal ads from incarcerated women.
Not one mentioned her crime, or anything about prison.
No freaks." "Morbidly overweight, seriously competitive computer gamer with creative genius online persona...
seeking svelte, kinky sex vixen for impossible fantasy role play.
Less than 1% of married couples met via personal ads (see "Where Couples Met," page 90).