In their panic and desperation, they cannot see how their actions are pushing their partner even further away.
It is likely you are asking your spouse to try “one more time”. If you suspect your spouse is having an affair, you may be spying or tracking their social media. If your goal is to save the marriage, you are going to have to back off all the places you are pressing.
If your goal is to stand up for yourself and set healthy boundaries, you are probably going to be divorced. It is never entirely your fault when a marriage goes wrong, but your objective isn’t to be proven right. At some point, you have said or done things that have been hurtful to your spouse. Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes as much as possible.
The admission of such written lapses in judgment is much easier since you clearly knew it was documented at the time.
This is very frustrating and confusing for the children.
Some of the considerations include but are not limited to: a) The length of time that the child has been under the actual care and control of any person other than a parent and the circumstances relevant thereto; b) the desires of the parents as to residence-agreements reached by the parents and submitted to the court are usually presumed to be in the child’s best interest; c) the interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests; d) the child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school, and community; e) the willingness and ability of each parent to respect and appreciate the bond between the child and the other parent and to allow for a continuing relationship between the child and the other parent; f) any evidence or allegation of spousal abuse; g) any evidence or allegation of child abuse on this or any other child; h) whether either parent is required to register as a sex offender; i) whether a parent is residing with a person who is required to register as a sex offender; j) whether a parent has been convicted of abuse of a child; k) whether a parent is residing with a person who has been convicted of abuse of a child Watch Your Behavior Whether you are fighting to be the primary residential parent or for weekend visits with your children the evaluation process by the court will encompass all of your behavior.
In particular, expect your children’s mother to point out all negative behavior.
Best Interest Of The Child Standard To determine how not to behave during this process it is helpful to review the criteria used by the judge (“court”) to determine appropriate placement of the children.
The court is charged with the responsibility of evaluating the situation to determine what placement and parenting time is in the child’s best interest.
In such cases, words spoken out of anger and frustration quickly become the rope that hangs the speaker.
Technically, such recordings should not be permissible but some courts will hear them for the purpose of evaluating a parent’s intentions and mental state.
In your panic, you may be crying and pleading for them to change their mind. Their response to your begging is probably going to be “too little too late” and it solidifies their resolve to end the marriage.