Also, you “get” to be the forgiving spouse, and he is stuck being the one who “did you wrong.” That’s not a fun role to play no matter how deserved it might be. You are going to have to connect with each other on a deeper level and recognize that you are both suffering without focusing on laying blame for that suffering at his feet.
The impulse to lash out and hurt when we’ve been hurt is very human but ultimately not helpful if you want to reconnect.
I want to hurt him like he hurt me, but I don't want to lose him. —Steamed Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist Feeling angry is an incredibly natural response to the feelings of betrayal that come from infidelity. Anger is a powerful emotion, and it can mask other feelings. Anger may feel like a safer way to manage your pain, but it will slow your healing.
Admitting and confronting the pain behind the anger is essential, and it requires vulnerability—which is hard when you are dealing with this kind of breach of trust. I wonder, though, what it is you might need from your husband to help you with that healing.
- A Venice man could spend the rest of his life in federal prison after a jury convicted him of producing child porn and traveling overseas to have sex with children.
A federal jury has found David Paul Lynch, 57, guilty of eight counts of producing and attempting to produce child pornography, two counts of traveling with the intent to engage in illicit sexual conduct, one count of receiving child pornography, and one count of possessing child pornography, according to a news release from the Department of Justice.
How do I stop being so angry after my husband had an affair?
We are trying to work it out, but I can't let go of the anger and it seems to be pushing him away. All of this is very real and comes with legitimate emotional reactions.
I’m guessing that right now apologetic words and acts of contrition are not helping you let go and move on.
Often, when we have been hurt, we need to feel that the other person truly understands the pain we are experiencing and gets how serious the emotional pain and betrayal really are.
Lynch traveled to the Philippines regularly between 20 to have sex with children, according to testimony and evidence presented at trial.